Ashley Tisdale Opens Up About Leaving a "Toxic" Mom Group, and Experts Weigh In

Ashley Tisdale’s discussion of a “difficult” mom group has sparked widespread conversation, but the experiences she described aren’t unique to Hollywood.

Us Weekly consulted with several mental health professionals, who detailed the common indicators of a problematic mom group, the psychological impact of these social circles, coping strategies, and how to disengage while safeguarding your well-being.

To fully understand the situation, it’s important to first examine Tisdale’s account.

Tisdale’s Account of Her Difficult Mom Group

Tisdale, 40, gained attention last week when she shared a piece about stepping away from her “difficult” mom group after feeling “excluded.”

“I recall being omitted from a couple of group gatherings, and I was aware of them because Instagram consistently showed me every photo and story,” she wrote in her essay for The Cut. “I began to feel like I was being intentionally left out, noticing every way they seemed to exclude me. … I initially told myself it was all in my imagination, and it wasn’t a significant issue. However, I could sense a growing distance between me and the other members of the group, who seemed indifferent to my absence.”

The High School Musical actress didn’t identify the other members of the social circle, but many speculated she was referring to her well-known mom group, which included Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore and Meghan Trainor.

Tisdale’s representative later refuted those claims.

What Constitutes a Toxic Mom Group? An Explanation

Jillian Amodio, a licensed therapist, psychology professor and founder of Mom’s for Mental Health, explains to Us that “these groups are characterized by judgment, excessive criticism, making you feel inadequate, assigning blame or gaslighting, shame, insults, ridicule, or exclusion. They can be manipulative and create divisions among members; a hierarchy might develop based on perceived loyalty, status, or other superficial factors.”

Candace Blecha, a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Double Heart Therapy, clarified that from a clinical perspective, “a toxic mom group often presents as supportive, inclusive, and community-oriented on the surface, but underneath operates through judgment, comparison, and subtle invalidation.”

Dr. Sarah Oreck, a licensed psychiatrist and therapist and cofounder and CEO of Mavida Health, cautioned that this type of dynamic “doesn’t occur in isolation,” noting, “We live in a society that isolates mothers.”

Jennell Casillas, a licensed perinatal mental health therapist, who specializes in women’s mental health and women’s reproductive mental health, stated that problematic mom groups often hold firm beliefs and opinions regarding medical interventions, education, religious views, or family structure perspectives.

“Regarding exclusion, that’s another complex human behavior. Exclusionary actions often stem from a few reasons. We gravitate towards groups with similar interests, and we desire to feel seen, heard, and understood. When we feel ‘left out,’ we no longer feel valued or secure,” she told Us.

Warning Signs of a Toxic Mom Group

Oreck suggests a simple test to determine if your mom group is negatively impacting your mental health: consider how you feel after spending time with or interacting with the group. Do you experience increased anxiety or self-criticism, constantly questioning your choices?

“If you’re responding affirmatively to several of these questions, that’s a sign. A genuinely supportive group should uplift you and leave you feeling more grounded and less alone — not more uncertain and isolated,” she said.

Blecha advises trusting your intuition.

“Often, the initial sign is intuitive rather than intellectual … a sense that something isn’t right,” she explained. “Red flags include heightened self-doubt after interactions, questioning your abilities as a mother, or feeling emotionally ‘smaller’ after group engagement.”

Ashley Tisdale Reveals the Reason Why She Left Her 'Toxic' Mom Group

How Toxic Mom Groups Affect Mental Health

All four experts concur that if you’re experiencing any of the symptoms described below after interacting with your mom group, it’s time to reassess the relationship.

“Anxiety and depression are quite common and frequently lead to feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt,” Amodio warned. “Loneliness isn’t just ‘being’ alone; you can also ‘feel’ alone even when surrounded by people if they are not supportive and accepting.”

Oreck shared that she observes four primary patterns in patients experiencing difficult friendships: anxiety, depression, burnout, and relationship strain.

“The anxiety manifests as constant second-guessing and decision paralysis,” she said, adding, “Depression presents as shame and inadequacy.”

She noted that “burnout is almost inevitable,” and “when online communities feel like your only lifeline, judgment there cuts especially deep. Relationship strain follows because the isolation and inequity are unsustainable.”

According to Oreck, the toxicity isn’t limited to interactions between moms. “It’s ingrained in how we’ve structured motherhood in America.”

Ashley Tisdale Addresses Rumors Mandy Moore, Hilary Duff Are 'Toxic' Mom Friends

When to Exit a Toxic Mom Group

Casillas advises leaving if the mom group isn’t providing support.

“You have limited time between raising children, pursuing a career, and managing your responsibilities to invest in anything other than a supportive and loving group. There’s no need to feel guilty about finding a group of supportive parents who can assist you on your journey. Most women have a positive experience with sisterhood and women supporting women. I strongly encourage all parents to find their group,” she shared.

Amodio recommends “focusing on facts, not feelings.”

“Validate your emotions and allow yourself space to process and explore what you are feeling and why,” she stated. “Feeling triggered is a sign that you have needs that are not being met. Listen to what those needs are and focus on finding healthy ways to ensure they are met.”

How to Disengage from a Toxic Mom Group

“One of the things I frequently emphasize in therapy is that boundaries don’t require lengthy explanations. Especially in toxic environments, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your mental health,” Blecha shared.

She also suggested anchoring into at least one safe, supportive relationship to avoid complete isolation. “In many cases, leaving without explanation is the most self-respecting option. Let your absence speak for itself.”

Blecha pointed out that “healing isn’t about becoming tougher; it’s about being kinder to yourself and choosing environments that don’t require a defensive posture.”

Oreck took a more direct approach.

“You’re allowed to leave. You don’t need permission or a detailed explanation. You can simply stop participating. And, I don’t know that you need to publish a personal essay in The Cut about it,” she told Us, referring to Tisdale’s article. “Publicly criticizing other women isn’t necessary, and frankly, it only overlooks the larger issue,” which she noted is the patriarchy that “keeps women isolated and pitted against each other.”

She added that if a complete break from the friend group is too challenging, “start gradually.” Her suggestion? “Skip every other meetup. Observe how distance feels. Pay attention to whether you feel relief or anxiety. Before fully exiting, try to intentionally replace it so you’re not left with a void.”

Amodio recommended extending grace to yourself as you disengage from the group.

“When we leave a friendship, a relationship, or a social group behind, there is often a period of grieving,” she said. “Grief isn’t limited to loss in the form of a death; grief is a universal experience when something we once cherished ceases to exist, or at least ceases to exist in the way it once did or the way we needed it to.”

The professionals also noted that drama in female friend groups is nothing new — but, as Blecha put it, “it’s become normalized in our motherhood culture.”

“Toxic messaging comes from various sources: mom groups, social media, family members, in-laws, and coworkers. The source changes, but the impact is often the same,” she told Us. “I’ve also witnessed something truly powerful on the other side: mothers who leave these environments often find deep connection with others who have had similar experiences. There’s a unique kind of bonding that happens when moms realize they weren’t the problem and never were.”

Amodio warned that “unfortunately, the ‘mean girl’ theme isn’t necessarily left behind in high school. I tell clients all the time, there are mean girls everywhere, and you gotta stop giving them your power; there are plenty of kind ones whose circles would love to welcome you in.”

Casillas emphasized, “There are plenty of other options out there, so to speak, so take time to find where you feel most comfortable. You also don’t need an entire group to feel supported by. Just one other mom friend can help you on your journey.”

What Really Happened Between Ashley Tisdale and Her Mom Group?

A source exclusively told Us, “The root of the issues was that some of the women simply became closer friends with each other, and Ashley started to feel left out.”

The insider explained that many gatherings were last-minute, “and Ashley wasn’t included,” but “there wasn’t any malicious intent.”

“Hilary and Mandy are extremely close, along with Kelsey Deenihan (their makeup artist), who is in the group, and a few others, and that dynamic naturally shaped the group,” the source noted. “At times, it made Ashley feel like she didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the circle.”

As for Tisdale, Us is told she “has relocated her primary residence to Malibu and feels more at peace than ever.”