J.Lo reveals past partners couldn't love her because they lacked it within themselves

Jennifer Lopez is reflecting on her previous unions and separations from a fresh perspective.

During an appearance on SiriusXM’s Howard Stern Show on Wednesday, October 15, Howard Stern posed the question to Lopez, 56, “Do you believe you have genuinely experienced love?” The acclaimed vocalist gave an unvarnished “No,” following a short moment of contemplation.

Lopez went on to explain, “What I discovered isn't that I lack the quality of being loved — it’s that my partners were unable to provide it. … They simply didn't possess it within themselves.” She added, “And they offered me everything they had. They consistently provided their utmost, every single time. All the jewelry, all the desires I could ever wish for. The residences, the engagement rings, the commitment of marriage. Everything.”

Lopez disclosed that she came to understand her own lack of self-love, which contributed to many of her profound discomforts concerning matrimony. (The artist behind “On the Floor” officially ended her marriage to Ben Affleck in January, after their union lasted under three years.)

Lopez conveyed to Stern, 71, “My most recent divorce turned out to be the most beneficial event in my life.” She elaborated, “Because it truly compelled me to embark on a deep exploration — I mean, I sought guidance from a spiritual advisor, I consulted a therapist, a relationship counselor, a personal therapist, and an addiction recovery coach. I engaged every resource available. My mindset was, ‘I am absolutely going to resolve this, no matter the cost.'”

Ultimately, Lopez recognized that “the fundamental truth lies within oneself — not in anyone else.” This perspective is one she has articulated previously, particularly during her promotion of Kiss of the Spider Woman, a part that was instrumental in guiding her through a challenging period.

During a September 28 interview on CBS Sunday Morning, Lopez stated, “It was challenging to avoid dwelling on certain issues, yet it felt like both the pinnacle and nadir of times. Each instant on set … brought me immense joy. However … upon returning home, circumstances were less than ideal.” She added, “But one perseveres, and truly, I must admit, it was the most positive experience of my life because it transformed me. It facilitated my personal development in ways I desperately needed … fostering greater self-awareness. I am a different individual today compared to a year ago.”

Lopez and Affleck, 53, maintain an amicable relationship, evidenced by his presence at the New York City premiere of Kiss of the Spider Woman on October 6. His production firm, Artists Equity, was behind the film, and he commended Lopez for her “extraordinary” performance in it during an interview with E! News on the red carpet.

Affleck remarked to the media outlet, “She is magnificent. And it represents an immensely challenging endeavor — it incorporates all these artistic disciplines, meaning it's not cut in a way that allows for minor errors in the choreography.” He continued, “It involves vocal performance, dancing, and acting, alongside the effort to balance several emotional registers within the film. That likely represents the highest degree of difficulty for an artist.”

Beyond her separation from Affleck, the star of Kiss of the Spider Woman has entered and exited matrimony on three additional occasions. She exchanged vows with producer Ojani Noa in 1997, yet their union dissolved merely 11 months afterward. Lopez was romantically involved with Sean “Diddy” Combs from 1999 to 2001, prior to marrying dancer Cris Judd in 2001. Their divorce was concluded in 2003.

Lopez subsequently partnered with Marc Anthony, wedding the vocalist in 2004. In 2008, they celebrated the birth of their twins, Max and Emme. Their separation occurred in 2011, and their divorce was finalized in 2014. She reflects on their marriage with profound esteem for Anthony, as they persist in their joint parenting responsibilities for their offspring.

Speaking to W Magazine in May 2016, Lopez confessed, “Upon the conclusion of my marriage, extending forgiveness was a considerable challenge.” She elaborated, “It didn't align with the aspiration I had harbored, and it would have been simpler to fuel animosity, disillusionment, and rage. However, Marc is the biological father of my kids, a fact that remains immutable. Consequently, I am obligated to strive for harmony. And that, unequivocally, represents the most demanding effort I undertake.”