Rachael Kirkconnell Explores Demisexuality After Matt James Breakup

Rachael Kirkconnell is exploring a connection with demisexuality after her breakup with Matt James.

During the Thursday, October 16, episode of the “Extra Dirty” podcast, Kirkconnell, aged 29, inquired of host Hallie Batchelder, “Are you familiar with demisexuality?” She continued, “I believe that’s the term for it … demisexual. I’m unsure if that&squo;s the precise word, but please research it for me.”

Following a brief online search, Batchelder vocalized the definition: “Demisexuality describes a sexual orientation in which an individual develops sexual attraction solely after establishing a profound emotional connection with someone.”

“I believe that describes my experience,” Kirkconnell mused. Batchelder then commented that “everyone ought to be demisexual” because it “appears to be a healthy approach.”

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Batchelder questioned Kirkconnell about potential attraction to women, however, the former Bachelor contestant expressed “confusion” regarding the distinction between demisexual and pansexual. (Pansexual refers to a sexual orientation where individuals are attracted to people of any gender, irrespective of their assigned sex or gender identity.)

Regarding past attraction to women, Kirkconnell responded, “I don’t believe so. I’m unsure.” She then added, “Everything exists on a spectrum, doesn’t it?”

Kirkconnell clarified that despite uncertainty about her gender preferences, she aligns with the demisexual principle of requiring “an emotional connection” with someone prior to engaging in intimacy.

“I simply don’t believe I could be intimate with just anyone,” she stated. “I need to feel secure and at ease with them, and be emotionally invested to the extent that I could envision us dating, or at least have a crush on them … It’s not about physical attraction, I suppose.”

Kirkconnell further stated that while she can recognize someone’s attractiveness, she requires more depth in a relationship.

She confessed, “I can certainly observe, ‘Wow, that individual is exceptionally attractive.’ I clearly perceive them as very appealing, I think they’re very hot, but beyond that, it holds no importance to me, because they could still be a dreadful individual or possess an awful personality, which would entirely dissuade me from wanting to be intimate with them.” She continued, “I suppose their physical appeal has its limits for me. Perhaps that’s my issue, I’m not sure.”

Earlier in the year, Kirkconnell and James, 33, ended their four-year relationship. The couple initially connected during the 25th season of The Bachelor, which premiered in 2021.

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“Heavenly Father, grant Rachael and me the resilience to heal our fractured hearts. Bestow upon us serenity regarding this choice to conclude our relationship, a peace that surpasses earthly comprehension,” James posted on Instagram in January, accompanying a picture of him and Kirkconnell from Bachelor season 25. “Shower our friends and family with benevolence and affection to console us. And remind us that our happiness originates from You, Lord.”

Within days of their separation becoming public, Kirkconnell presented her perspective on Alex Cooper’s “Call Her Daddy” podcast. During her interview, Kirkconnell disclosed that James published his Instagram post merely three hours after he ended their relationship while they were traveling in Tokyo.

“I believe I’ve come to understand that much of it wasn’t about me, or my responsibility or my issue. And I do think it was beneficial to have that discussion with him and hear those things from him,” Kirkconnell stated at the time. “But even if I hadn’t, I think it’s crucial to recognize for yourself, ‘It wasn’t entirely me. It wasn’t one hundred percent my fault.’”